THINGS YOU CAN DO...AND EXAMPLES OF WHEN THIS MIGHT WORK...

Catch them being good - "It makes me so happy and proud to see you doing your homework without even being told."

Active listening - "Mom, the teacher really embarrassed me today." "I bet you're feeling sad about that. Can you tell me about it?"

Mutual problem - Mom and Tenisha want to watch different TV shows on solving Saturday night. They negotiate and compromise.

Time-Out - John is pitching a fit and won't calm down. He is sent to Time-Out.

"I" messages - "When I come home from work and see the trash can overflowing and dirty dishes in the living room, I feel really angry. Everyone in the family has to pitch in and help!"

Choices - "The jobs that need to be done today are emptying the trash, doing the dishes, vacuuming the living room, and putting away the laundry. Which two jobs do you want to do, Maria?"

Natural consequences - Your son breaks a neighbor's window. He helps pay for it and helps to replace it.

Charts/stars stickers - Miguel keeps "forgetting" to brush his teeth. He gets a sticker each time he brushes his teeth.

Ignore - Your child has a temper tantrum. You calmly leave the room.

Change the situation - Your children are fighting. You separate them until they can get along.

Change the environment - Your toddler touches your best framed picture. Put it away until he/she can learn what is for looking and what is for touching.

Distract - Two toddlers want the same toy. Distract one with a different toy.

Take away a privilege - Your older son picks on his little brother. He does not get to stay up and watch TV.

Reward - Any positive work or action that lets your child know you appreciate his behavior.

"If... then..." - "If you get the dishes done quickly, then we can play one game of cards before homework."

Prevent - You know that your child is going to start grabbing things in the store. So you tell him ahead of time that if he wants to go to the store with you then he can't grab. Then reward him for his good behavior!

Accept-Tolerate - Your child loves a sweater you hate. Just ignore it and let her wear it without criticizing her.